Mourning The Loss of People You Had To Cut Off

A relevant post.

Taking The Helm

By Harmony Yendes.

Mourning is hard. It doesn’t matter if the person has passed away, is estranged from you or has chosen not to have contact with you. It. is. hard.

Mourning can be more complicated when the person is still alive but you cannot see them, speak to them, write to them, tell them about your day, your happy moments or your big achievements in life. Or the opposite spectrum, like not being able to talk to them when things are tough, knowing they would have the perfect advice or the perfect response to how you are feeling. We get dependent on certain people and their responses to the events going on in our lives. Sometimes, when a person is abruptly cut out of your life, or you have just “lost touch” when one or both of you moved away, it can be difficult to cope. We find that…

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The Narcissistic Witch

Unfortunately this trait seems to be a growing problem, Cassandra and I have had clients consult us who are targeted by such people. I have included a link to the following article which is accurate in its explanation and warns of personality traits to look out for when seeking friends or groups within the Pagan community. 
Kelden – Patheos.com

The Cyberbully within Paganism

I am bringing attention to this excellent article from the site of Sorita D’Este as this matter has become a huge problem within the Pagan Community. Cassandra and I have have received this immature behaviour from some and so have other genuine, good hearted friends of ours.

Sorita D’Este – Patheos

If you read this article because you are currently experiencing online bullying, please also consider exploring the following resources:
https://www.bullying.co.uk/cyberbullying/
https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/how-to-report/index.html
https://cyberbullying.org/report
https://www.thinkuknow.org.au/report-cyberbullying

Are Friends who Associate with your Enemy Trustworthy

In my experience this scenario is fraught with difficulties……..
It’s a familiar story. A group of three or more friends, having the best of times. Then two of those three friends begin a feud and the third, innocent party is stuck to choose. We’ve all been there and I know from personal experience it’s hard to tell whether or not you can trust a friend who’s friends with your enemy, but it’s also hard to be friends with two people who hate each other.
For the innocent party who just wants to be friends with everyone, it’s really hard. I personally don’t know if it’s actually possible because I’ve never seen it work out. You’re going to like one friend more than the other, or you’re going to accidentally betray one or the other friend and they’re going to turn on you.
I understand wanting to keep your friends, but unless you can be perfect and schedule the same amount of friend dates for the same amount of time, while also not becoming the middle person for their petty vendettas, it just isn’t going to work and someone is going to end up losing.
Read more here
The Odessy Online

 

 

Understanding Scapegoating.

This is another subject clients consult us about and we have had the experience and ability to help them.
The ego defence of displacement plays a role in scapegoating, in which uncomfortable feelings such as anger frustration envy and guilt are displaced and projected onto another, often the more vulnerable, person or group. The scapegoated target is then persecuted, providing the person doing the scapegoating not only with a conduit for his uncomfortable feelings, but also with pleasurable feelings of piety and self-righteous indignation. The creation of a villain necessarily implies that of a hero, even if both are purely fictional.
Some would say that Satan the Devil was used as a Scapegoat for sins and interestingly they also depict his image as half man half goat.
Read more here
Psychology Today.
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Pagan Community and predators

Good post by Nimue and so apt.

Druid Life

I’ve written plenty of posts critiquing aspects of the modern Pagan community, so I’m going to try henceforth to find more productive approaches. What can we do to mature as a community? How can we do a better job of things?

One of the underlying problems is the attraction and repulsion authority creates in Pagan circles. None of us wants to be told what to do. None of us wants there to be an outfit with the power to police their practice. However, it’s a different matter when some other Pagan is doing it wrong and we want someone to police their practice and make them stop. I’ve certainly been there and I know I’m not alone. Policing only works by consent, (leaving aside situations where policing is rooted in force)and it isn’t something we, as a set of people, are likely to consent to.

We don’t have collective approaches…

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Evil Flourishes When Good Men Do Nothing

A necessary post.

Grumpy Old Witchcraft

I have been a whistle-blower for most of my life.  It’s something I feel compelled to do when I come across injustices and needless to say it has got me into hot water!  Whistle-blowing can be awfully lonely because often the very people who you believed would support you, either turn against you or keep their heads down and act embarrassed with the hope that you will go away or cease such behaviour.  Whether this happens within a private or a public situation, there is almost always retaliation and/or reprisals from the bully or abuser (whether system, company or person).  Often ‘gas lighting’ is aimed at the whistle-blower, not only to attempt to distract or silence the instigator, but also as a salutary lesson to other workers, team members or acquaintances not to do the same or support them in any way.  It makes one wonder why on earth people…

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Motherhood -The Magical Power of Creating Life

Three Generations of Magical Females

My Daughter

I remember hearing my mother give birth to my youngest brother at home during childhood. She went through a 12 hour labour, so I was fully aware of the effort required for childbirth. It is an essential part of nature, but its not until you experience it yourself  you know how truly powerful it is. During my first pregnancy it was then I realized that   life would never be the same again.

My Son

I will never forget the first time my children were placed in my arms and I looked into their tiny faces with the overwhelming realization that I had created a human and a new life. This feeling returned once again when I become a Grandmother as my child created new humans and lives.
Motherhood can be a spiritual path in itself as this article explains:
Many a woman has said ‘I never knew I could love someone so much’ upon becoming a mother. There is an intensity to maternal love that can catch us off guard. Our whole bodyand our subtle body – is ready to sacrifice on our child’s behalf. We may be torn by this, exhausted, even resentful, as we long for sleep and solitude, while at the same time we want nothing more than to hold our child. A torrent of emotions is released. And in the best moments there is this tender love, captured in Klimt’s beautiful portrait, this closeness and bond that we feel can never be sundered. There is a vulnerability too – as Elizabeth Stone puts it in her oft-quoted statement, making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around “outside your body.”
There is a fullness too, that comes with motherhood, and a fierce protectiveness. Early Hindu mother goddesses hold a child in one hand and sword in the other. We quickly learn that there is a part of us that would do anything to protect our child. Working with this intense tribal feeling – tribal in that it is focused on our child, our world, even at the expense of others – is perhaps one of the greatest spiritual challenges of motherhood. It is easy to be consumed by wanting only what is best for our own children, with little thought as to how it impacts others. Unchecked this can drive us to push our children, or push others away in judgement or from fear (think ‘mommy wars’.) This is the spiritual calling of motherhood then – how to allow the opening of our heart to expand rather than contract our world view and understanding.
Read more here:
Motherhood is a Spiritual Journey
The Spiritual Journey of Motherhood

 

The community cost of injustice

Some valid points here.

Druid Life

There’s an obvious upfront cost to injustice that relates very immediately to whatever has gone wrong. What seems like a small unfairness to someone not immediately affected by it can seem like a small problem, not worth the hassle of sorting out. To the person on the receiving end, that small wrong can be life destroying. However, there is a larger and more subtle cost, one that we keep overlooking. Injustice breaks relationships and undermines communities. All the injustice that stems from prejudice. All the injustice that is intrinsic to rape and abuse. Social and financial injustice. All of it.

So, you’re affected by something, and it hurts you, and damages your life, your wellbeing. I’ll leave it to you to decide what sort of injustice to imagine or remember at this point. Nothing is done. The system refuses to change, the perpetrator is not tackled, no one says ‘hey…

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Questioning the toxic people

Personally I would advise not to accept or take on their accusations and lies, but this article does have some aspects worth considering.

Druid Life

The internet is resplendent with memes about getting the toxic people out of our lives. It sounds simple, and of course in some cases is true. If you’re feeling miserable or anxious, before you assume you’re experiencing mental illness, it’s always worth checking to see if your feelings are largely caused by arseholes. Anyone who is ‘stealing your energy’ and bringing you down seems to be fair game in this process, but life isn’t as simple as memes.

It’s certainly true that if we successfully surround ourselves with people who only tell us how great we are, that we will, in the short term, feel better. If this is because we’re largely awesome, then getting rid of the haters may help us continue to be awesome and happier with it. Most of us, it has to be said, are significantly flawed. It’s part of what makes us human. We aren’t…

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