Memories of Cornwall helped me with certain situations in life and a few years had passed since my last family vacation. My first husband was reluctant to visit Cornwall due to its reputation for frequent summer rain. His idea of a good vacation was overseas with hot weather, topless sunbathers and a wild nightlife where recreational substances were available. I spent two years persuading him to try and by the time he agreed six years had passed since my last visit. My parents’ religious friends owned a caravan rented by tourists during the holiday season and they arranged for us to use it. Even though it was fabulous to be in Cornwall once again, it rained frequently during our stay. I sat in the caravan one afternoon watching the torrential rain outside with my two-year old daughter and an angry husband. The weather did not concern me or deter me from venturing out to view the landscape and feel the energies. I was determined not to let my husband’s attitude spoil our vacation as I did not know how long it would be before I returned again. I hoped my daughter would enjoy Cornwall as much as I had as a child.
I visited a childhood friend in St Stephens and we reminisced about my past vacations. She informed me that one of the twin sisters had passed away a few years ago. I then planned to visit the other twin sister the following day. Her son answered the door and gave us the news of his mother’s recent passing. He was sorting out her belongings and he invited us in for tea. I sat in the kitchen/diner solemnly observing the surroundings. The items I remembered and loved as a child were still in place, but covered in dust looking sad and neglected. I gazed at the illustration on the kitchen wall remembering the happy times spent with them, the taste of their delicious food and the card games that produced so much laughter. I remembered the Cornish rhymes they recited as they studied their playing cards. The familiar china figurines still stood on the mantelpiece in the lounge. One was a female dancer wearing a beautiful blue ball gown that stood beside a male figurine in Regency attire. Years ago I moved them both to music as if they were dancing together. The cottage was lifeless without the sisters and the wonderful warm, happy energy had gone. My husband conversed with her son, but I did not hear much of their conversation, only the part where he spoke of his plans to sell the property.
Three years passed by and my marital situation worsened after a disastrous holiday in Spain. I hoped my husband would change, but as time passed I knew it would not happen. My sister in law reminded me that I was young enough to begin a new life and relationship. A social worker informed me it would not concern her if I stayed within a problematic relationship, but social services could place my daughter into social care. I knew then that it was time to leave.
Soon after I had made this decision, I met a young man at a social club on New Years Eve. He gave the impression he was a confident police officer and his qualities attracted me. He was easy to converse with and I thought of him often after the party. We did not meet again until the Easter weekend by chance as we attended a party at the same venue. My husband was at this time involved in an extra-marital affair with a woman he met on New Years Eve and we drifted further apart during this time.
The policeman and I spent most of our time together over the Easter weekend. He took me to visit his small one bedroom cottage and he had a ‘laid back’ personality which had a relaxing effect on me. He wanted a relationship and a family of his own after living alone for 10 years and his friends were married. It seemed as though he had been sent to me at a difficult time. I took a huge risk leaving my first husband and moved in with the policeman after knowing him only two days. On reflection I would have taken a bigger risk if I had stayed in the previous situation. My daughter’s safety was a matter of concern and I hoped we would both be safe with a policeman. If I had lived alone there was a possibility we would have been subject to harassment. It was unfortunate that my first husband and I were far too young for marriage at only 17 and 19 years of age.
I spent hours conversing with the policeman on many subjects. He seemed knowledgeable about all aspects of life due to his occupation and had maturity of mind for a man of 26 years. I had a restricted life and needed to learn more about the outside world. He seemed caring, unselfish, understanding and was my ‘knight in shining armour’. He promised that he would always care for my daughter and I. Three weeks after my divorce was finalized, I married the policeman after living together for nine months. We would have waited longer, but my parents were enquiring about my place of residence and would not condone us ‘living in sin!’
My new husband thought it strange that I frequently hugged my daughter. Apparently his grandmother had passed during childbirth and his mother was then raised in a children’s home during her younger years. She allegedly showed no physical affection to her children, therefore I introduced him to a life abundant in affection throughout our marriage.
We eventually moved from the one bedroom cottage and purchased a three bedroom house. My daughter had slept in the lounge on a fold-up bed/armchair for nearly a year and was delighted to have her own room again. The property was four years old, it was a small but beautiful terraced house with double glazed lead lighted windows and an open-plan interior. A small area of lawn opposite the house led to a footpath and the local woodland. We discovered the ruins of an eleventh century church there.
My husband had pleasant childhood memories of vacations in Cornwall and his cousins lived in Somerset. His paternal families were warm and friendly and my father in law welcomed my daughter and I into his family with open arms. After two years of marriage, we planned to have another child. My husband had cared for my daughter as his own and I thought it right to give him a child also. I wanted a son as my daughter would then be his only female child. After researching scientific theories on sperm activity and survival I acted upon this information and conceived a son three months later.
Life was relaxed with my husband but then other repressed feelings from the past surfaced. I attended regular counselling and also studied a counselling course with a voluntary organization in order to help others. This was a difficult time as I also had to work through my past experiences. My husband encouraged me to meditate in order to help with stress but I was taught by my parents that meditation should be avoided as the Devil and his demons could enter your mind.
The subject of meditation had previously arisen during one of my vacations in Cornwall at 16 years of age. I reunited with and dated the son of the Spanish lady we met during our first family vacation. Her son regularly used transcendental meditation and I laid beside him on the sand at Par Beach following his instructions but could not totally relax..
My husband knew little about my parents’ religion, so he participated in a bible study with church members and attended church meetings to find out more. My parents assumed he would become a member and were delighted, but his friends and family were concerned. I explained to him the aspects I disagreed with, but let him find out about those himself. It was not long before the church elders informed him that he could not remain in his occupation if he became a church member. He discontinued his bible study and then other problems concerning my family arose. I then wrote to the church elders stating that I no longer wished to be known as a member of the church. This action is known as disassociating oneself.
I then decided to take control of my life and ignored the warnings from my parents concerning meditation. I noticed the positive benefits of it immediately and nothing sinister happened. I contemplated that if these warnings were unfounded, maybe the negative teachings concerning witchcraft and spiritualism were also untrue. I took the first step and bought spiritual ornaments for my home.
The first items were a pair of midnight blue candlesticks decorated with gold sun, moon and stars. My mother warned me that possession of such items associated with the occult would be an invitation to demonic forces. I watched and waited, unsure of what to expect, but could still see and feel no change. I was on the threshold of a new and exciting world!